By Lisa Burke
May 4th 2016, Fonda Theatre, Hollywood CA: Steel Panther has been rockin’ out and crackin’ jokes in and around Hollywood and all over the States for many years, with a few name changes and residency venue changes, as well as put out four studio albums of their own, full of raunchy lyrics and glamorous riffs. On Wednesday May 4th 2016, I attended the first show on the threesome list this month at the Fonda Theater which is their new local home and shtick. There was one opener on this night which was hard rock band Eyes Of One.
Lately, since Steel Panther has taken over at the Fonda instead of House of Blues because it doesn’t exist anymore, they have not had the crowd they used to, which definitely affects their overall show and mood. I believe the main reason for this is the pricey tickets whereas at the House of Blues it was only $15 maximum and usually you could easily get on the opening bands’ guest list and if you arrived before the show sold out, you got in for only $5. Nowadays, the room still fills up but it is not as busy as I’ve seen in the past, and to my knowledge has unfortunately yet to sell out at the Fonda. The best part of a Steel Panther show is that you never get the exact same show twice, despite a similar setlist and format.
Eyes Of One was very typical modern hard rock chock full of emo vocal moments that made me cringe. On the plus side, they had some interesting moments and vocal change-ups that when patterned right in certain songs, came across as strong and unique. There were some solid guitar moments and they did have a balanced skill set despite my lack of enthusiasm for emo vocals. I really don’t have much to say about them because I’ve seen far too much of these types of bands lately and I really can’t get into it. If you are into modern rock with no soul or clear purpose and lots of pitchy whining, then you enjoyed this band immensely, and to each their own I suppose. I am just so much of a lyric girl and vocal critic that sometimes I can’t get past it and it makes or breaks the band for me. I do happen to enjoy just one opener and then Steel Panther as a format, however, and broadening my horizons to experience and discover new bands I’m not super into is an exercise in strength and individuality at the very least.
On my ladies bathroom adventure during the intermission I found myself in a typical scenario where the random drunk girls get together and tell man-bashing stories as well as compliment each other. It’s a regular occurrence in Hollywood to view such a ‘girl bond man bash’ session in the bathroom at a show of this nature, because our town is apparently full of musically inclined men who are declining on deserving respect from women, so to reboot their bruised and battered egos the women will proceed to exceed wasted by 9:30 PM, secretly bash a few men down, leave the restroom cackling together, and then wonder why those men continue to not respect them. Such is the vicious cycle of rock ‘n roll life, and Steel Panther parodies these types of scenarios perfectly.
Lately, Steel Panther has been pumping ‘Blackout In the Red Room’ by Love/Hate over the PA system just before stage time, and it’s the perfect mood setter in my opinion. On this night they burst out onto the stage with ‘Eyes Of A Panther’ followed by ‘Fat Girl’, and ‘Gold Digging Whore’ for the win. I really enjoyed the setlist on this night with the exception of ‘Just Like Tiger Woods’ which is a song they always play, but it’s outdated in my opinion. Somehow ‘Asian Hooker’ never gets old, specially when there are actual Asians on stage, as there were this night, which made it so much fun with the extra ‘hit them over the head’ Asian jokes. For some very unknown odd reason, despite the abundance of willing crowd sluts ready to scale the stage at any time, there was no moment where Steel Panther offered the opportunity for a line of girls to rush the stage to dance with the band. I’ve never seen this not happen when the crowd was ready, but they did have a dude get up and show his abs along with bringing up a married chick in a tiara, which I’ve also never seen before, so I guess we have to pick and choose our battles. Also, despite Stix throwing and catching his drumsticks like a champ and Lexxi’s lipstick being so bright you could see it from Oklahoma, they were apparently on the fake hunt for a new drummer and bass player and held some fake auditions with a few guests. The guests included ‘the black guy they’ve never had on stage before’ i.e. Dug Pinnick from Kings X who sang ‘Purple Haze’ with Michael Starr while Jimi Hendrix rolled over in his grave.
Earlier in the night, Steel Panther also did a really awful snippet of Purple Rain as a tribute to all the bad tributes that will or already did go down all over the world. Satchel introduced the band at one point, and when it was Lexxi’s turn, he joked that he was hotter than Billy Sheehan because he just got botox yesterday. He also sang a little made-up song snippet called ‘She’s Hot From A Distance’ that went over very well with the crowd. The best part of the evening was when Satchel turned into the next John 5 and did a guitar solo medley including ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’, and ‘Iron Man’ along with many others with the tempos sped up and slowed down, and varied in a hilarious manner, all while making his way to behind the drum kit to also use the kick drum with his guitar, and then ending by grabbing a stick and doing an exaggerated flip and catch. Following that hilarious madness, Michael Starr comes out with a black bra in his hand that no one knows where he got from and puts it on the microphone stand, and the tune ’10 Strikes You’re Out’ happens. Shortly after, they played Ozzy Osborne’s ‘Crazy Train’ with a guest drummer who was a serious stick twirler and I’ve never seen Michael do a better Ozzy walk and impersonation. Seriously hilarious moment there, and after that they kept announcing that they only had time left for about 16 or 17 more songs, which of course included the popular favorite ‘Death To All But Metal’. The show ended with a hat trick where Michael Starr throws a hat to land on Stix’ stick, and after only fucking it up once, they got it right and Michael Starr told the audience “if you didn’t like the show, fuck you, and even if you did like the show, fuck you”.
Due to all the guest bass players, Lexxi almost passed out from spraying his hair with hairspray for half the show, but his adorable custom leather studded vest with a painted ‘L’ on the front written in cursive Laverne and Shirley style that has a pink heart painted on the back with a hairspray can and mirror in the middle, stole the show on a fashion scale. They will forever be the best jokesters in glam metal and thanks to them, no one will forget the old glam rock days on the Sunset Strip either. It’s still modern day Metal Skool at its finest and class is still in session, so take a lesson.
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