By Art Daniels
May 13th 2014: Greetings from Louisiana! Before I start, I just wanted to thank all of you who hit me up to tell me how much they enjoyed the first blog, even if it was mostly people trying to get free tickets to shows. That plus the five people who started following me on Instagram, I feel like king shit right now. I’m blushing. So where did I leave off? Oh yes, on our way to Denver, Colorado. So, we went out of our way to find a RV park in Golden, Colorado so that we could take a tour of the Coors Brewery. I can’t explain how much I was looking forward to see where one of my favorite beers is brewed. The sad truth is that the place didn’t have tours that day. I’m still not happy about that. We still made the most of our day by drinking Coors and watching Smokey And The Bandit. That’s living the good life right there.
Denver
Denver is rad. There are so many places to grab a beer and some food. I wish I had the time. The show was at the Ogden Theatre, a huge place. It has nice stage and the venue has huge balconies. This was also the first time that the band’s name appeared on the marquee. I was as excited as the rest of the band was. The show sold out at over 1,700. I wish I’d seen the show itself. They again put me in another room away from the action. It stinks when that happens. I did stick my head in the room and it was just a sea of people. Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves and judging by the amount of merch I sold, they really enjoyed Future Villains.
After the show, it’s driving time. I usually take the night shift drive because I’m used to it and I like to drive at night. There are less number of assholes on the roads. It’s eight hours to Wichita, and that’s in a normal car doing the speed limit. We have a 32-foot RV with a trailer. That’s at least a 10-hour trip for us unless it snows which makes it even longer. Why did I bring up snow, right? It’s May and it doesn’t snow in May, right? Well I bring it up because myself and my faithful co-pilot David Ellis, drove right into a raging blizzard. Not a little snow, not “Oh look, it’s snowing”, it was a FUCKING BLIZZARD. So our trip was a touch longer since I had to drive at less than 50. Even with all that, I kept myself awake with Monster Energy drinks and awesome 80s music.
Wichita
We rolled up to the Cotillion and I knew we were in for a treat. The building has been there and in operation since 1960. Walking in was like walking into a time machine. The backdrop to the stage looked just like the Hollywood Bowl. Pretty slick. I’m told they still do roller derby there too, but I’m skeptical.
So after the show, there is an after-party every night. This is usually attended by smoking hot ladies and their boyfriends who are regretting taking them to a Steel Panther show. It’s usually just the bands who attend and when I can weasel in, I do. After the Civilians (non music industry people) leave, it’s just the bands and me. I’m really the fly on the wall here and I’m slightly out of my element so I usually just laugh at the crazy stories and interject if I can. It’s really cool that they let me hang out because I could easily see them giving me the boot, which I would understand. I’m not part of that brotherhood. It is for this reason I can not tell you the things I have heard or seen. Maybe in a book in 30 years. Maybe. Anyway, I’m glad to be involved because the Steel Panther boys are really entertaining and sweet guys.
So we all shoot the shit for a while and eventually one of them says, “Hey, want to see the bus?” Do I? YES PLEASE! We got on the bus and it’s amazing. Granite all over and it’s stocked with alcohol, fruit and snacks. It also has huge bunks and a nice lounge in the back. I’m so dumb and a touch drunk, I can’t stop talking about the snacks. I think Stix felt bad so he offered to send them to our RV. I declined but accepted another offer for beer and vodka. And then I’m a little fuzzy on the rest of the night. I’ll have to ask around.
Oklahoma City
So after sleeping in the parking lot of the venue, we got up the next morning and took the quick trip to Oklahoma City. It’s another day off and we spend it watching movies. Life is hard sometimes.
The next day we head to the venue, The Diamond Ballroom. This place is why I love the Mid-West. You see, in most places the venue used to be something else that has been made into a place to have rock shows. Not this place. It was built in 1964 for music. I don’t know if it’s the pictures of past bands and musicians like George Jones and Pantera next to each other or the hundreds of people pre-gaming in their pick-ups outside, but this was the first time I’ve felt like I was doing something on a much bigger scale. It feels good.
The other cool thing I noticed at this show was that the SP crew is starting to warm up to us and Steel Panther themselves are really warming up to us. Before the show, both bands and myself threw my football around inside the venue. Ever catch a pass from Satchel? I have. All of them actually. It was really cool. That’s good bonding. And surreal.
Also, I got to see the show today! Both bands are really hitting their respective grooves. The shows are fun to watch for me and I know the fans are really into it. Dusty proved it’s hard to talk to the crowd sometimes and told the fans to like Future Villains on MySpace. Oops. It’s not as easy as it looks, folks. ‘Girl from Oklahoma’ from Steel Panther was a huge crowd-pleaser and the after-party was pretty awesome too. Michael Starr gave me a beer. Too bad I was doing the overnight drive to Houston.
Houston
What else can I say about Houston that you wouldn’t know? It’s hot and sticky and I don’t like that. The show was at The House of Blues. For us, that’s just like home because it looks very similar to the HOB back in West Hollywood, but only smaller. It showed too as both bands really lit it up and played flawless sets. Clay Davies in particular was on fire. The newly added Dylan Dyce is also coming along nicely.
Kenny Dale’s mom was in attendance and since it was Mother’s Day, he got on the mic and told her he loved her and said Happy Birthday. Wait… it’s not her birthday? It’s not as easy as it looks, folks. Kenny is much better at drums and even though he denies that he said it, swears he’s not going to be on the mic ever again. We will see.
There wasn’t much of an after-party and once again we got to shoot the shit with Lexxi and Stix. Those dudes are really funny. They talk and act just like they are on stage with all the jokes and one liners. Stix was standing next to me and told me I was a hairy motherfucker. I said thanks, and he was not having it. Here is what transpired:
Stix: Art, you should tell me to go fuck myself
Me: Fine, go fuck yourself
Stix: No. Like You mean it. Loud! let’s try again. You are a hairy motherfucker!
Me: WHATEVER MAN GO FUCK YOURSELF!!!!
At this point I looked up and as everybody was only paying attention to the conversation they were having, they had no idea why I loudly told him to fuck off. My guys in Future Villains looked like they just saw a dog get hit by a car, which cracked up me and Stix even more. Stix let them know it was a joke and we all laughed. It was amazing.
So now, after a hearty Cajun lunch at Kenny’s mom’s, we are headed to Orlando, and another House of Blues awaits!
Steel Panther/Future Villains remaining tour dates:
5/15 — N. Myrtle Beach, Fla. — House of Blues
5/16 — Silver Spring, Md. — Fillmore
5/17 — Philadelphia, Pa. — Theatre of Living Arts
5/18 — Sayreville, N.J. — Starland Ballroom
5/20 — Montreal, Quebec — Metropolis
5/21 — Boston, Mass. — House of Blues
5/23 — Hampton Beach, N.H. — Hampton Beach Casino
5/24 — Portland, Maine — The Asylum
5/26 — Toronto, Ontario — Sound Academy
5/27 — New York, N.Y. — Irving Plaza
5/28 — Pittsburgh, Pa. — Stage AE
5/29 — Cleveland, Ohio — House of Blues