By Art Daniels
May 6th 2014: Greetings from the road! My name is Art Daniels and as I type this I am in an RV headed toward Denver, Colorado. You see, I’m working for a band called Future Villains who are direct support for Steel Panther on their ‘All You Can Eat’ tour. There’s not much to blog about yet as the tour hasn’t started and not much has happened. That makes it a good time to introduce myself to you, the good readers of Metal Assault.
I’m usually a tour manager for the constantly touring boogie metal gods Gypsyhawk. This opportunity came about when my friend and singer of FV, Dusty Bo asked me to do merch and guide them through this huge tour across America and two shows in Canada. I’m excited to be aboard and see how these bigger operating tours work.
The band’s in good spirits. The energy here is amazing. I have laughed so hard my sides have begun to hurt. Every band is different but these guys understand how to keep it fast and loose. You need to have a good sense of humor to do things like this or it will eat you alive. I was on a very short tour with these guys a little over a year ago but this is a much different animal. Traveling everyday and grinding this out is something you have want to do. This isn’t for everybody.
Here we go…
Seattle
Seattle was our first show. I love Seattle but it’s always raining. This was no exception, and I entered the Showbox Sodo as the rain fell. What a huge place. A capacity of 1800 and it was already sold out, which is always a good sign. The first day of tour is a lot like the first day of school. You don’t know where to go or what to do or who your new friends are. It was pretty hectic. As I settled in to my spot for merch I received my all access pass for the tour. What a great feeling. There’s literally nowhere I can’t go. Will I go everywhere? I’m going to try. I’m still a stranger to this band and their crew and I don’t want to be walking into anywhere that might be occupied by something that isn’t my business and doesn’t concern me. I’m happy enough to get to the backstage and green room. I met the lead singer of Steel Panther, who is rad. Everybody is super nice, that’s not something I’m used too. Somebody is always a prick.
The show went off well. Future Villains killed it and and let the crowd know that they belonged on tour with the mighty Steel Panther. There may have been an after-party but I’m a little hazy. I’ll have to ask around.
Which brings us to Portland.
Oh Portland, with your ironic jorts and lack of respect of opening bands. Actually I do really like Portland. One time I licked a titty in a Portland sex store bathroom. That’s a great memory. ANYWAY, getting back to the show, it was at the Crystal Ballroom. Beautiful venue and and just the right amount of meth addicts out front. Another sold-out show. I wish I could have seen it. Merch was on another floor and all I heard was an occasional riff. I hate that. That, and missing out on all the nudity that occurs at these shows. A capacity crowd of over 1500 enjoyed that show, that I’m bummed I missed. Portland also had a strange phenomenon where people actually paid for a ticket and sat on a bench in front of the merch. Way to blow money, guys. My only theory is that they didn’t want to sit outside and be bothered by meth heads.
Pro tip: If you approach the merch table please don’t tell me that my boys “Did pretty good for an opening band”. You are an idiot. It’s such a shitty thing to say. You can’t be direct support for Steel Panther on the road and suck, even if we are “Just the opener”. Fuck you.
Driving to Denver
So now we are on our way to Denver and we are set to arrive a full day early so I suspect that there will be some grilling and consuming some Coors. Maybe we can squeeze in a tour of the Coors Brewery. We will see.
Steel Panther/Future Villains remaining tour dates:
5/07 — Denver, Colo. — Ogden Theatre
5/08 — Wichita, Kan. — Cotillion
5/10 — Oklahoma City, Okla. — Diamond Ballroom
5/11 — Houston, Texas — House of Blues
5/13 — Orlando, Fla. — House of Blues
5/15 — N. Myrtle Beach, Fla. — House of Blues
5/16 — Silver Spring, Md. — Fillmore
5/17 — Philadelphia, Pa. — Theatre of Living Arts
5/18 — Sayreville, N.J. — Starland Ballroom
5/20 — Montreal, Quebec — Metropolis
5/21 — Boston, Mass. — House of Blues
5/23 — Hampton Beach, N.H. — Hampton Beach Casino
5/24 — Portland, Maine — The Asylum
5/26 — Toronto, Ontario — Sound Academy
5/27 — New York, N.Y. — Irving Plaza
5/28 — Pittsburgh, Pa. — Stage AE
5/29 — Cleveland, Ohio — House of Blues