By Art Daniels
Well, that was quite a stretch we just completed! As my fingers hit the keys, I am currently in our RV close to home. Let’s get to it (but before that, read Part 1) …
Portland, Maine
It was good to get back to being on tour with Steel Panther. The band and crew were as happy to see us as we were to see them. This is the second time we have been to Portland, Maine with Panther. The first time we were shoved into some small venue that had to have violated the fire safety laws. This time we got set up in some sort of civic hall that was huge. Quite a change for the better for us, considering the bars we played the last few days.
After saying all my hellos and taking in all the glory that is Maine, I was setting up some gear and I heard somebody call out my name, I turned around and it was a security guard. Right behind him was the drummer of Steel Panther, Stix Zadinya. Apparently, Stix had forgotten his laminate and he told the guard that I could verify that he was who he said he was. If you know me at all, you know I am always looking for an opportunity to bust some balls. I immediately started to push my glasses closer to my face and squint. “I dunno, the prescription on my glasses just ran out, I’m not sure who that is, let me get closer.” Stix immediately went with “You know who I am and your band may or may NOT be doing five shows with us”. I gave up the ruse and confirmed who he was. I’m glad he has the same terrible sense of humor I do.
This show was also the first one we played where the venue takes control of your merch and sells it for you. It’s not because they are nice people trying to help you out. You see, in these bigger venues, they do that so they know exactly what you sold so they can take a percentage of it. Think about that the next time you bitch about the price of a shirt at a show. Some jerkoff who deserves nothing is getting a cut just because a band wants to make some money. Anyway, it gives me time to shoot video and take pictures for the band, so it’s not all bad.
The show was great, it was good to see the guys on a big stage again. When Panther performed, we saw a woman actually get a shocker on stage. That was new for me. I was a little disappointed with their set list but some of the towns they are playing, it’s their third time through, so it has to feel new to the fans.
After the show, Stix and Lexxi came aboard our RV and caught up with us. It was awesome that these guys took the time to hang out with us. I always learn a lot when I get to talk to them. They hung out with us for over two hours. It’s genuine too because…
…of this story from Hollywood…
A few months back I went to a Hillbilly Herald show at the Viper Room with my girlfriend and Andrew Packer (formerly of Gypsyhawk) and I spotted Lexxi out on the street after the show. Not only did he recognize me, but he invited me to a bar he was going to and offered to buy all of us drinks. I turned down his offer and thanked him but he INSISTED that we come and hang out. We went and not only did he buy us drinks, he took the time to have a real conversation with me. Like specific things about Future Villains and what was going on in my life. At the end of the night, he gave me his number and told me to hit him up and he would come to the next show Future Villains played. That’s not a phony.
Hampton Beach, NH
After waking up in the parking lot of the previous night’s venue, we drove south an hour to Hampton Beach. Why they scheduled two shows an hour apart on back to back nights, I’ll never know. While most of the band stayed in the the RV to sleep, Dusty and I went and got lunch. On our way back from lunch, we spotted that there was an arcade under the venue. I relived my youth and played skee ball and collected tickets. Fun times!
The show itself was fun too as it was the venue once again collected my merch to sell themselves. This didn’t feel as bad as the first night it happened. I again shot lots of video and took lots of photos. This time, I chugged beers in the green room while doing all that other stuff. Sometimes it’s hard to be me.
We cleaned up at merch and while Panther was doing their set something happened that I’m told never happened during their before. A girl was on stage and dropped her pants for the crowd and another girl came over and well… use your imagination. Yeah, it was that kind of party in Hampton Beach.
Montreal QC
There no nice way to put this: crossing the border into Canada blows. As most touring bands can tell you, you never know what the hell is going to happen. We positioned ourselves to be in good shape to cross over and hoped for the best. So how long did it take? 3 minutes. That was a good omen for the day, as nothing could get us down after that.
We got to the venue and all was well there too. The bummer for me was I actually had to sell the merch myself again. I got a little spoiled the last few days getting to film the shows and hang out and do other things. It’s too bad too because the show is already sold out and I know that there’s going to be a lot of good shots to take. Oh well, back to the grind.
So I was standing at the merch booth and I hear a roar. I went into the music hall and it’s just Kenny going onto the stage to sit at the drums. I knew right then, it was going to be a crazy show. I wasn’t wrong as a few things that hadn’t happened yet occurred. First, there was a moshing and a circle pit going on the entire time the guys played. Secondly, the crowd was singing the lyrics to the songs. As Dusty and Clay told me later, there was an incredible bunch of fans that were tuned into them so much, whenever they fist pumped or even raised a hand, the crowd either fist pumped back or just let out screams. That was fucking cool to witness.
After the show, we literally cleaned up on merch selling out of one of the new t-shirt designs and selling dozens of CDs. People that bought CDs last year, bought more, this year for their friends. The guys signed everything in sight. Montreal is awesome.
After the show wrapped up, we hung out with Steel Panther for a bit as it was Michael Starr’s birthday. I don’t quite remember what happened but I’m positive it was a good time. When that let out, I hung out with some friends and got poutine with David. He got hot dogs on his. I don’t know why.
Day Off/Driving Day
Montreal and Toronto are close to each other, right? Just a few hours, right? Wrong, it’s over seven hours! We had no idea and let me tell you, it sucked. It took us over 9 hours because of traffic. We rolled into Waterloo, Ontario for the night looking to drink some beers and grill some food but as we soon found out, it was Victoria Day. Apparently everything in Canada shuts down and nothing is open. At least we figured out why there was so much traffic. We found an RV park and called it a night.
Kitchener, The Starlite
After playing a sold-out show to thousands of people with Steel Panther, it can only be a letdown to play a club show in a town you have never visited before. This was no exception. To be fair, the venue was awesome and the other band we played with (Saigon Hookers) was great, but as we were told when we got there, they just got off a long weekend, not a lot of people are going to show up. The crowd wasn’t too bad and either way, the guys just went about their business and played like it was to thousands. After the show we got drunk and slept in a Wal-Mart parking lot. Awww, just like back home in the good old USA.
Toronto, Bovine Sex Club
I’ve been to the club a few times but I don’t remember leaving. It’s that kind of place. Anyway, as you can guess the place is a total shit show and I don’t mean that in a bad way. We played to a good-sized crowd until Clay’s amp head blew a fuse and went out. This would be no big deal but we forgot to pack a back up. That’s a bummer. While Clay and David tried to fix it, Dusty, Ronnie and Kenny played a pretty good cover of ZZ Top’s “Tush”. After getting the problem fixed, the show went on and everybody had a good time.
A few of the guys went to this dude Edwin’s place. He’s the singer of I Mother Earth, a huge Canadian band from back in the day and apparently a good time was had by all that attended. Not me, I was on just a few hours of sleep and went to bed. Those are the breaks sometimes.
Hamilton, This Ain’t Hollywood
The name of the bar we played is This Ain’t Hollywood and let me tell you, I didn’t need to be reminded that it wasn’t. Except for the Meth addict outside the bar trying to find out who the drummer in the band was (to try to sell him amphetamines to drum faster), there wasn’t one fucking thing to remind you of the lovable shit hole that is Hollywood.
Anyway, since there is almost nothing notable about this show, I want to…
*RANT*
As anybody who tours can tell you, if you have local opening bands, 99.7% of them are going to suck. That number might be low. There are a lot of bad bands out there. Not to worry though, a lot of those bands practice a lot and become tolerable opening bands. This is just the way it is.
BUT!
What’s going on in Canada and much more specifically Ontario? It’s something that I wish would spread out to far reaching places. I’m of course talking about female-fronted bands that are not novelty acts but that are there to kick ass and not sell sex.
First we have Diemonds out of Toronto. They kick ass, tour both the US and Canada and they play great music. Then last year when I was in Toronto, I saw another great female-fronted band called The Mohrs. Simply outstanding. Then this tour I saw Little Footlong Foot and Polarity. None of these bands felt like a novelty and actually rocked out. It was awesome. Most but not all of the time when you see a band fronted by a female, it’s all a gimmick. What a refreshing change to not feel like you’re at a sex show and the music is secondary.
Step it up, everybody else.
On that note, I’ll conclude this blog, with more stories and rants to come in the next and final part of this tour blog.
Update: Read Part 3